We’re pretty close — and like what all close friends do, we play pretend. Pretend that you’re the boy who’s trying to chase me and I’m the girl who’s holding back her feelings. I’m the shy type, so I’d laugh it off every time you play your game. But slowly and carefully, I am catching your drift. And I think I’ve reached that point where my feelings are neither black nor white and it’s keeping me awake at night.